A different kind of mom...

I was just thinking this morning and decided to blog on the joys of being a mom. I don't know about you, but I am SO NOT the mom that I thought I would be! Before I got pregnant I was just really selfish and self-centered (not to say that I'm not now...but hopefully I am a bit less) and was interested in what was best for ME. I also just wasn't very into saving money or doing things that are good for the Earth. How did all this change so quickly and because of one tiny person!?! I never thought I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom...ever. I thought I would go crazy! Now I wish with every other breath that I could just stay home w/ Landon until he goes to Kindergarten! I never thought I'd still be breastfeeding at 4 months! Now it's my goal to try and make it to a year, but I thought maybe I'd try for a few weeks and then move on to formula. As soon as I was pregnant I figured very quickly that this would not be the case. I knew that no matter what, I was going to make this breastfeeding thing work...and I'm SO glad I did. What a precious way to spend time w/ my sweet boy! :) I never thought I'd cloth diaper (i've talked lots about this before). We sent in our diapers to Bum Genius b/c some of the velcro started pulling and they have a 1 year guarantee on them. They are sending us new ones for free which is great! But we are now going on 2 weeks w/o them and I MISS THEM! We are using free diapers still from our showers...but I really just want our cloth ones back!! Haha. I never thought I'd make our own baby food! But now I can't really imagine it any other way. I know what will be going into him and that's important to me. And how could I not know what exactly is going into him?! I've been feeding him from my body for the last 4 months, I just feel more in control this way. (Not necessarily a good thing as I can be a bit of a control freak sometimes) : / But it's also really fun! I enjoyed making our first batch the other night and LOVED that Matt wanted to help and be involved in the process!It just made it that more fun to do it with my wonderful husband while laughing about Frank. Haha. He is such a great hubby! :) Anyway... I never thought that I would find myself trying to be a better mom,wife,daughter of the Almighty simply because I'm a mom now... but I DO! I constantly and trying to better my relationships and myself to be a good example. When Matt spoke on Father's day he talked about the awesome example his dad was growing up. Sam (his dad) is an amazing father and husband and I believe that's how Matt has so naturally become such a great father and husband as well. He had an incredible example. He said that he knew that being in the word was important b/c every morning when he woke up and came out for breakfast there his dad was, reading his bible. I want this for our children! I want them to believe in the truth and power that comes in that book. I want them to follow by our examples, not just our words. So I find myself MAKING time to be in the word each day, even if it means Landon needs to sit with me and be fussy. I NEED that time and I need that connection. Once I have it, I know I can be the best mom possible that day.
I'm not saying that anything I do is great or the right way by ANY means. In fact, I would almost say that I'm doing things "wrong" because they are so the opposite of what I thought I would be doing!! It's just funny for me to observe and think about. There must be some hormone or some spiritual change God blesses us with when we have babies. My thinking about just about everything in life is different now!
Sorry this is getting long, but one last thought. The story of the beginning of Moses' life is what got me thinking about all of this. I've always heard the story and thought "how great that he was able to live (and grow up in a palace no less!) and also that his mother was able to nurse him for however long (I bet it was a while! like at LEAST a year)". But now that I have my own precious boy, I cannot imagine giving him up to let him live! How hard would that be?! To send ur baby down a river and just trust that God had big plans in store for him and He would take care of your precious infant?! Tough stuff man! Then to see him every day for lets just say 2 years and get to nurse him and connect with him and then the emotional process as he weaned and knowing that she likely would never touch,hold,or connect with her little boy ever again?! That's HEAVY stuff. What an incredible woman of faith. She KNEW God would take care of her and get her through it. She knew it was the right thing to do and that this was God's plan for whatever reason. Man! That's so hard right?! Before I was a mom I never thought this story was that big of a deal. I thought, how awesome that he became a prince and grew up in an awesome home instead of dying! haha. But there's SO much more to that story. My perspective has changed on so many things.